Watching the birdlife here is astonishing. Coffee, tobacco, a canvas chair - hours go by, when I should be working. Today I saw...er....

(I should, before making any statements about wildlife, relate the following tale: I was sitting in a Sheffield garden with my partner a couple of years ago. The garden adjoined woodland. It was a pleasantly warm afternoon. The following dialogue ensued:

Her: Oh, listen! A woodpecker! Can you hear it?
Me : Er...no.
Her: There it is again! Did you hear it that time?
Me : No.
Her: You must have done. (Suspiciously) What exactly are you listening for?
Me : HahahaHAha?

So. Today I was watching tree-creepers. Possibly.